We have two
choices in a relationship: 1. To focus on our differences or 2. To cherish what
we enjoy in common. Satan will do everything he can to disrupt our unity, by getting
us to focus on our dissimilarities.
This puts
wedges between us as individuals and causes dissatisfaction with our bond. We
start to pick apart our relationship, and this encourages unhappiness and makes
our soul sick.
Focusing on
the negative diminishes our love and respect for one another. Only the eternal
optimists will insist on keeping their focus on the positive. We would do well
to follow their example.
When we fall
in love, we stretch our imagination in order to find what we have in common.
After the honeymoon, however, we get back into the routine of life, and our
attitude gradually wanes until we stop cherishing one another.
The
enthusiasm and energy of first love is replaced by irritations over the
differences that the devil makes sure that we see. We stop appreciating the
good that we do for one another and start grumbling about our dissimilarities.
The antidote
to this issue is to take the time to refocus our view on one another. What did
we first love about each other? How did our fiancé surprise us? What hobbies,
interests and expectations do we share? What do we still have in common?
How can our
strengths fill in the gap for one another's weaknesses? What new, amazing
aspects of our personalities may we discover the longer we are married? How can
our differences act as a positive aspect in our relationship?
Every morning
we can make a list of 3-10 aspects about our mate that make us cherish them in
our life. Every evening, we can make time to share these characteristics and
habits with each other to encourage more positive feelings between us during the
next day.
Prayer:
Father God,
help us to break Satan's trance that he uses to numb our mind and to change our
focus to the little issues between us that he blows up out of proportion as a
matter of importance. We often come to despise the very characteristics in one
another that caused us to fall in love in the first place. Help us to see that
You combined our differences to bless each other, not to drive a wedge between
us.
Show us that
differences are a blessing. Point out to us that the Morning Dove can set up
our day and get the family started, whereas the Night Owl can wind things down
and prepare for the next day. The one who is always on time can keep the one
who is always late on target. The planner can give our marriage purpose and
goals, while the spontaneous one can bring flexibility, excitement and
adventure into our life together. The extravert will make new friends for us
and allow the introvert to move into these new relationships a little more
slowly.
Thought for
the Day:
We can look
for commonality in our relationships at the same time that we learn to
appreciate the qualities that our differences bring to our marriage; so that
our feelings of love will grow, rather than turn into irritations and log jams
that diminish our love and appreciation of one another.
