Pride
and fear will prevent us from allowing our self to be vulnerable with another
human being and with God. We shelter our soul from rejection and live in dread
of someone inflicting physical or emotional pain on us; therefore, we keep
people at arm's length and we view everyone as the enemy.
Codependent
personalities will reinvent their whole persona. They go with the flow, adapt,
and remake their personality - disregarding their real needs in order to go
along so that they can get along with important people in their life. They want
to be accepted and loved, and are afraid to be vulnerable.
Even
if we marry someone who loves Jesus more than they love us, and they love us
more than they love their self - and would rather take our pain away than
inflict it, we do not trust them. We suspiciously interpret their words and actions
as self-seeking and hard-hearted.
We
keep our true feelings closed off in our mind, and we refuse to open our heart
and connect with our mate or anyone else. We find it easier to open up a bit
more to strangers on the internet than to the people with whom we actually
live. We are extremely sensitive - with low feelings of self-worth.
However,
there is freedom when we let down our guard, and the walls which we erect
around our self. We may experience rejection, or even emotional distress by
another's candidness and plain speech, but this allows us to improve in our
areas of blind spots and to learn to laugh at our self.
No
one is perfect, including me and you. We are all human, and this causes us to
clash now and again. Relationships are hard in any stage of life. That is why
some people choose to live as a hermit or a homebody or a loner, because we can
avoid interacting with other people.
I
always encourage young people to date many people before they marry, to find
out the type of person with whom they are really compatible, to look for
someone who loves Jesus more than they love them, and who love them more than
they love their own self.
Prayer:
Father
God, when we as individuals pursue intimacy with You, we open our heart to be
vulnerable and to risk loving others in spite of the possibility of being hurt.
We traverse this hateful world together, bracing one another so that we will
not fall. We personally experience Your mercy and grace, and we can readily
show that same level of compassion, care and nurturing to others.
Help
us to listen to Your Spirit, and to follow His discernment and wisdom and
guidance throughout our day. Then, we can reach out to those You put in our
life and share Your love with them as a healthy person, rather than as a
skeptical, fearful or codependent individual. When we put You first in all of
our ways, We find that our communication with others is more intimate and
Christ-centered and unified (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Thought
for the Day:
Tribulation
is easier to bear when we share it together, and our expectations of one
another diminish, because we realize that as humans we all have our unbecoming
hang-ups and habits; we love unconditionally, we have more patience with each
other, and we forgive one another more quickly and completely.
