It
is possible to experience perfect love in our marriage. I am not excluding
hassles, irritations and wounds, because as long as we are human, we are
hopelessly flawed. We will disappoint each other. However, there is always a
way to increase the feelings of love that we enjoy.
This
is produced by making our spouse a priority in our life. Our love can forgive a
multitude of our mistakes, inadvertent hurts, and deliberate hurtful behavior
that we inflict on one another. Affection increases the unity between us, and
develops more intimacy of spirit, soul and body.
Each
of us has our own special way that we need love to be expressed to us. Some
people love gifts, some focused attention, some affirmation, some snuggles and
physical intimacy, and some need a combination of two or more of these love
styles.
Thankfully,
there is a free quiz online and several books that go more into the details of these
concepts, because it is advisable for us to be aware of the style by which our
spouse actually needs to receive love, and to provide that love for them. https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/
Feeling
secure in our mate's love for us is the most sought after connection in the
world. Humans may actually look for this bond outside of our relationship, if
our mate does not make the time and the emotional investment in our marriage
that provides it for us.
Part
of this refuge is to live together with an attitude of compassion, gratitude, forgiveness
and patience. We seek God together and grow more in love with each other every day.
We spend time together and really listen to one another.
Security
also allows us to be honest with our self and one another in a kind and loving
fashion. We take ownership of our own failings and we apologize, we quickly
pardon offenses, and we encourage each other when we experience discouraging
circumstances.
Prayer:
Father
God, help us to learn to love each other by daily saying "I love
you", giving each other undivided attention, actively listen to the words
and body language our mate expresses, spending focused time together,
encouraging each other with affirming words, having and holding each other
throughout the day, looking into each other's eyes, holding hands, snuggling,
easing one another's burdens, serving each other, helping with chores, giving
unexpected gifts, going treasure hunting together at thrift stores, remembering
special days, giving special gifts that each other mentioned wanting, etc.
Remind
us that a good marriage is one that focuses on You and Your will for us as an
individual, a mate, a couple, a family, and a vital part of our church family
and neighborhood. Teach us how to effectively love one another so that we can
create a secure environment for our marriage to flourish, and our individuality
to find freedom of expression.
Thought
for the Day:
Growth
and change is often uncomfortable, but life is more discouraging when we are
stuck in a rut; at times, we wonder if living with our mate is worth the effort
to climb out of the rut, until we daily commit to building a secure environment
for each other, and our love flourishes.
