We often rush through life, focused on our busy schedule and taking our mate for granted. We forget to say, “Thank you for all you do for our family” or “You are remarkable, and I cherish you” or “I admire your ability to contribute to our family, to maintain Your Christian testimony, and to make me feel wanted and that I matter.”
Gloating over being “right,” inflicting “barbs” to make a point, bringing up our mate’s past failures, clinging to our pride or anger to protect us, using sarcasm, cynicism, and skepticism in relating to our spouse all pound nails into the coffin of our marriage by breeding hurt feelings, resentment, and indifference.
We communicate our deepest feelings toward one another in our daily comments, attitude, and behavior. Negative vibes build walls between us brick by brick. Taking a regular searching inventory of our words will give us a clue about our true feelings, and it will show us ways to clean up these cobwebs encroaching on the unity in our marriage.
We are human, and we all over-react, make assumptions and mistakes, and have foibles and idiosyncrasies and neurosis from life’s hard punches. When we disagree, which happens whenever two people live together, we can pray about God’s view on the issue, and ask Him to show us a third option that we can both embrace.
Exchanging the words, “I love you” throughout the day affirms to our spouse that we value them in our life. A meaningful hug “good-bye” as we rush off to work, and “hello” when we return home warms our heart and sustains us throughout the workday.
My husband and I add the word “only” at the end of the phrase, “I love you,” and “I love you only” makes us feel secure in each other’s commitment to our marriage.
Prayer:
Father God, teach us to prefer one another, to be sensitive to one another’s mood and needs, to show compassion on what each of us is experiencing, and to spend time having fun and communicating together about the blessings and issues we faced during each day. Help us to regularly schedule outings that we both enjoy, and to make time to be out in nature to allow our soul to “catch up” and our body to breathe deeply.
This will draw us closer as a couple, improve our health, reduce our stress-level, and restore our soul. Remind us never to over-react, but to get all the facts of the situation rather than to make assumptions or to expect the worse from each other. When we walk in Your Spirit as individuals and as a couple, You become the third strand in our marriage that keeps us strong, united, effective in ministry, a light to our family and community, and enjoying our marriage rather than regretting it (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
Thought for the Day:
Using polite words like: “When you have time…” or “I need your help when you are not busy” or “Please consider these thoughts in making your decision” will appeal to our mate more than demanding immediate help or attention without any regard to their needs and priorities, or expecting them to do things our way without any “say” in the matter; the decisions in our marriage can promote unity between us when we make them as a couple with much prayer.
