Since our mate is human, the perfection we want from them may never materialize on this side of Heaven. We do not need to ignore the aspects of their personality or habits that irritate us, but we can change our focus about them, and accept our mate just as they are.
If we have needs that only a mate can fulfill, then we can have a more heart-to-heart talk with our spouse. We start by complimenting what we appreciate about them, we discuss this if they want to do so. Then, we ask them to change the aspect about their life that grieves us, and give time to chat about this, because we may have made assumptions that are false.
Then, we always end the conversation by ending with thoughts on how much we love them, and what we appreciate about them and our connection. This puts our relationship in a better perspective by letting each other know that they are loved, but that we need a change in this one area that we shared.
Keeping confidences about our spouse and resisting the urge to blab them out to the world around us – even in an attempt at humor, is a vital key in keeping lines of communication open between us. We do not even share their issues with family or our best friend. If it is something we need to think through, then journaling about it in private is the best way to sort out our thoughts.
The happiest of couples are those who can laugh, play, and cry together with confidence that the embarrassing or hurtful issues will never be shared with anyone else. Our supportive and compassionate attitude will help us both get through the most trying of circumstances.
Praying together for God’s advice on a third option when we are divided on a decision we must make, keeps us at peace with one another. Sharing household chores, as well as the responsibilities we have for our children is important.
We start picking the tasks for which we really do not mind taking responsibility. This lightens each other’s load in life. Doing some of them together also reduces any burdens we may feel, increases our intimacy and give us time to pray, play, and plan together.
Prayer:
Father God, teach us to promote calm discussions about negative aspects in our marriage, rather than to constantly grumble or complain. It is a human reaction to use anger against what we perceive as being ignored, discounted, or abused. Help us to see that talking out issues that we disagree on is a much more creative way to resolve them. When the conversation turns heated, remind us that we both benefit from a “time out” before resuming the discussion.
We need You every moment of our life on this earth. We heard it said, “Do not sweat the small stuff. Everything is small stuff.” This is such great advice, which reduces the monumental disagreements we come up against into little mole hills. Accepting one another’s weaknesses as we rely on each other’s strengths, helps both of us to feel needed and appreciated. We give You all the praise and glory for our intimate union as husband and wife.
Thoughts for the Day:
Two nails in the coffin of our marriage are to slip into boredom and taking each other for granted. We keep our relationship fresh by seizing fun times to play together – making time to take turns planning these events keeps them fluid and interesting. We can start by taking classes together, starting a new hobby together, taking a vacation to a new destination, or planning a fun “staycation” that we will both enjoy.
