We often take offense at our mate’s comment, joke, or what we perceive as their intention, when there is no basis for our conjecture. Getting all the facts, rather than thinking our assumption is true, will prevent many disillusionments and hurt feelings between us and our spouse.
We can also believe the best about an issue rather than believing the worst. Men frequently make jokes about their wife in order to get a laugh from other people in the room. Other people often believe that the words of these jokes are true because they do not know the wife as intimately as they could.
Women often find a release for their pent-up emotions by gossiping about their husband’s shortcomings to other women. They do this to find validation for their feelings, or to appear as a martyr for what they must endure from their spouse. This will erode the love, compassion, and intimacy they should feel for their mate.
There are many topics to use as jokes, and our partner’s reputation should not be compromised at the expense of a joke or gossip. None of us are perfect, but we can reduce friction between us by using compassion, gratitude, and kindness toward our mate at all times.
Disagreeing in love is another issue on which spouses can work together. Sometimes, one partner will leave the conversation mentally before it is resolved. Silence often prevents arguments, but it also makes our spouse feel like we do not care about their feelings.
If we feel our negative emotions arising, or that we are getting defensive, we can state that we need to put our self in time-out to provide more time to contemplate the issues. However, be sure to promise to reinstate the discussion once we do put things into perspective.
Communication is the hardest concept in any marriage, especially if the emotional temperature is highly charged. Taking a time out is exactly what is needed – not for us to build up our defense for our opinion, but to look at the issue from our mate’s point-of-view and to pray about a third option to resolve the issue.
Prayer:
Father God, remind us that when life throws us a curve ball, we are not alone. You have everything in Your control, and a Spirit-filled couple can pull together to resolve the issue rather than allowing the issue to tear us apart. Flexibility is always better than sticking to our rigid opinion about any problem. You always have a solution for us regarding any matter that arises.
Teach us that no human is perfect. We are not combatants, but teammates on the same side of every circumstance. Fear and rigidity complicate problems, but trust in You and in our mate’s love for us helps us to resolve every dispute amiably. Teach us new ways to respond to disagreements and to use them to better understand the way our spouse thinks and feels. We so appreciate You reigning supreme in our marriage.
Thoughts for the Day:
Unified communication is the stabilizer of every good relationship. It keeps us balanced, on the same page, and feeling benevolent toward each other rather than combative. We can attack the issue rather than one another, and we find God’s solution to the matter without sacrificing our deep love, respect, and good opinion of our mate.
