There is a difference in the nuances of the stages of love. We start by caring; we transition to sympathy; as we get more involved, we evolve into empathy; we eventually develop compassion; and then we truly love one another. You may wonder, what is the difference of these phases. I am glad you asked.
Caring will display kindness and concern for another individual. We show signs of warmheartedness, gentleness, concern, thoughtfulness, and fondness. We help each other when there is a need, but there is very little personal emotion involved in this phase.
Sympathy helps us to relay condolences, comfort, support, encouragement, consideration, and gentleness toward others. We can imagine how we would feel in a similar circumstance, and we develop a rapport with them as another human being. We convey understanding for how they feel, even if we never experienced their situation.
Empathy steps up when we feel pity or sorrow for another during some misfortune that we can relate to because we already walked in their shoes in our own life. We actually feel their pain, see their perspective, and share in their emotions. We give them leniency and tolerate their despondency. There is an affinity between us that can forge a deeper bond in our relationship.
Compassion involves love that supersedes feelings. We suffer in our soul right along with another, even if we never experienced their situation. There is no judgment in compassion, even if we do not relate to the reason for the depth they are feeling in their soul. We have mercy for them, like God feels for us, even if they brought their suffering on their self by their own options and worldview.
Love is a choice. It is sacrificial and can be a deep emotion similar to what Jesus felt when He paid our sin-debt for us. We are willing to change places with someone if we could, in order to prevent them from experiencing their distress. This love is an intense expression that does not need a reason for demonstration. We can have this love for others whether we feel an emotional connection to them or not.
We can also feel an emotional love that involves affection for our spouse, family, and deep friendships, all the other stages of love, and a connection that supersedes what we feel for other people. It involves an attachment to that person that we do not feel for anyone else. This love is loyal, involves a lifelong commitment, and the deepest intimacy humanly possible.
Prayer:
Father God, thank You for the sacrificial agape love that You exhibited toward us by sending Jesus to die on Calvary’s cross for us. You prove Your love for us by choosing to dwell in us, for adopting us into Your family, and for being our God, our Rock, our Fortress, our Deliverer, our Refuge, and our Savior (Revelation 21:3). Our love for others flows from Your love for us (1 John 4:20).
You give us the ability to love each other with humility, gentleness, patience, and a unity in spirit that transcends time, locations, and feelings (Ephesians 4:2-3; John 13:34-35). Teach us to lay down our life for one another, to share our blessings from You with each other when Your Spirit prompts us, and to love in actions and truth, not just in words and conversation (1 John 3:16-18).
Thoughts for the Day:
In order to have the emotional energy to transition from one stage of love to another, we need to start by having these same emotions for our self. We are a person too. We matter in this life. We can minister to our self with the same purpose that we exhibit toward others. Loving our self only gets out of bounds when we are immersed in our self, and we show tendencies of stinginess, self-centeredness, and an absorption in our self without regard for others.
