During the dating process, feelings of love are frequent and fluent. We enjoy each other’s company and cannot wait to be together again. We hang on every word, plan creative outings to share, and have unlimited patience with our differences. I used to view the clock as an enemy because my curfew ripped me away from my beloved date.
After years of marriage together with the same person, the tune of the love song changes. We settle into a routine, take one another for granted, see only our mate’s weaknesses, and feel more irritation than love. Our words of encouragement turn into criticism, and disappointment clouds our expectations.
The good news here is that love is a choice, not just an emotion. As we mature, we realize that humans are never perfect, and we reduce our expectations to more realistic goals. One set of choices we can make undermines our marriage commitment and causes us more discontentment.
Other choices equip us for the marathon course of life, and they prepare us to love until death parts us. Patience with one another pays off because we can readily proclaim that we choose our spouse with each new day.
In our later years, we grow used to our mate’s penchant to certain behaviors. Though they may attempt to change to meet our needs, they quickly revert back to their normal behavior. This is frustrating and drains our emotional energy unless we change our focus and find other righteous ways to find fulfillment.
We have the choice to select a mate prior to marriage, but after we make our vows, God commands that we keep these pledges (Ecclesiastes 5:4-6; Numbers 30:2). We choose to love and find contentment together, rather than to entertain the idea of an easy escape from what we view as a flawed and untenable relationship.
Prayer:
Father God, thank You for Your unconditional love for each of Your adopted children, who join Your family through the blood and name of Jesus Christ. Teach us how to show this same love to our mate, family, church family, neighbors, strangers, and our whole world. We trust in Your grace to enable us to increase our unity with our spouse over the years. We can come to You to meet our needs that our mate is not capable of supplying, because Your presence with us and in us is more precious than life itself.
Help us to develop a sustained love for one another over a lifetime, rather than an adversarial relationship that robs one another of our peace and joy. We focus on Your purpose for our union, rather than on having our needs met. Remind us that compatibility comes by patiently loving our spouse just as she/he is, without expecting them to change. Help us to see that we are a team joined together for Your glory, not for our convenience.
Thoughts for the Day:
Life’s circumstances and disappointments should not quench our love for our mate. Focusing on our mate’s strong points rather than his/her weaknesses will allow love and affection to grow in our marriage (Song of Solomon 8:7). We make our mate’s needs our priority, and we make the effort to place their needs above our own, without neglecting our own needs. We cherish and have compassion for each other, discuss issues between us that need fine tuning, and readily forgive transgressions as our mate forgives ours.
