When we come
to a fork in the road of life, especially if we and our spouse want to take a
different path, conflicts arise. We both think that we are right, and we often do
not want to take the time to truly understand each other's viewpoint.
Discussing
issues in our relationship is the best way to keep the seeds of bitterness from
tarnishing our life together (Hebrews 12:15). The goal is not to win or to get
our way, but to find a resolution which blesses both of us.
We do not
push our agenda, but we try to understand our spouse's viewpoint and support his/her
needs as well as our own. Honest communication, along with praying together
about the issue, will help us to solve the problem.
If we sweep
our issues under the rug, or bury them in our subconscious mind, they are still
there, spoiling our bond in marriage. If we just argue, or blow up about an
incident, we accomplish little more than to wound our spouse and to drive an
emotional wedge between us.
God helps us
to see the real cause behind our disagreement. As humble servants of God and to
our spouse, we can solve these issues more quickly as we honestly and humbly
communicate our true feelings about the problems we face.
Our spouse
is not the enemy, but our partner in life. The devil will use disagreements to
pull us apart, to steal our hope from us, and to make us feel helpless to
resolve our conflicts. There is always a solution in the center of God's will.
Problem-solving
together with a prayerful attitude enables us to find God's will. We stick to
one issue at a time until we find an alternative plan that solves the problem.
We can make a pro-con list of all the possibilities, and then ask God for His
wisdom on how to meet both of our needs.
Prayer:
Father God,
help us to honestly communicate our feelings about the problems that we face,
and to look at various solutions that support both of us, rather than to insist
on our own way. If we have differing communication styles, teach us how to
relate to one another using words that resonate with both of us.
Once we
decide on a solution, give us the fortitude to stick to our plan, so that we do
not further frustrate and disappoint each other needlessly, and so that we
always bring glory to Your name. You have a perfect plan for our life at each
cross-road in life, and gaining Your wisdom and perspective will unite us as a
couple, and will maintain the love and peace in our partnership.
Thought for
the Day:
An amiable
discussion about how we will spend our money, how much time we will spend
separately and together, what activities we can both support in our marriage,
how to raise and discipline our children, what activities to pursue in our
careers and our retirement years, etc. helps us to decide together what is best
for us as a couple and as a family.
