We
all form relationships with people who pique our interest. Something about them
fulfills a need in us. This starts out very innocently, but then our
expectations of one another grow. We view their requests, for our help in
meeting their needs, as a demand on our time, energy and resources.
Others
of us believe that our significant other should instinctively know our needs
and to meet them without our request or input. When they fail to live up to our
unspoken standards and desires, disenchantment changes our perspective of them.
We
want to love on our own terms, and we withhold love when our partner hurts or
disappoints us. We shut down, clam up and turn away from the one that gives us
love unconditionally. One way to prevent this drifting apart is by loving each
other in their own love language (https://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/).
We
also change as we age: our priorities, our worldview, our schedule of
activities, our energy level, and our physical prowess and looks and
capabilities all change. We are not as attracted to each other as we once were.
Passion wanes and we settle into a boring routine.
This
sets us up for an affair, or at the very least for discontentment with our
marriage. Resentments build up over the years. We are not interested in the
same things anymore, our priorities and goals change, and we look for
fulfillment in different places.
At
a time like this, accepting each other for what we are becoming is of paramount
importance. We can make a recommitment to continue serving one another in love,
regardless of our health issues and radically divergent needs and interests.
None
of us is perfect, and we are not always correct in our memory of events, or what
we thought was our shared vision for the future. Therefore, we can pledge now to
support each other, to make sure one another has time to pursue personal interests,
and to make each other more of a priority in our life.
Prayer:
Father
God, we praise You with our whole heart and we constantly remember the
blessings You bestowed on us throughout our entire life. Thank You for
forgiving our sins and healing our diseases (Psalm 103:1-10). We count on Your
mercy and grace, and we need You to teach us how to extend this same tolerance
and compassion to our spouse (Ephesians 1:7-8; 1 John 1:9).
Help
us not to entertain bitter thoughts toward each other, which will put a wider
gap between us. Teach us to accept each other just as we are, and to forgive
our mate's slights, preoccupation, neglect and misunderstandings - just like
Jesus forgives us; yet, inspire us to lay down our life for each other every
single day as co-equal heirs of Your Kingdom (Ephesians 4:32; 1 Peter 3:7).
Thought
for the Day:
Loving
each other unconditionally; dwelling together with understanding of each
other's need and supporting one another; and fully accepting our mate's
idiosyncrasies, changing interests, and irritating imperfections and human
tendencies to make mistakes and to fall short of our expectations, will help to
increase our love for one another.
