Kindness
goes a long way in a relationship. With kindness, we add respect, appreciation,
humility, and of course, love. These characteristics enable us to bear up under
the load of hurt, humiliation, pride, disappointment, resistance, etc. that
also assault any couple during our lifetime.
Although
the combination of our personalities differ, couples everywhere usually fight
about similar issues. We disagree on some major decision, or one of us makes a
choice, that involves both of us, without consulting one another.
Often
these issues cause the emotion of old wounds from our past to fuel our current
feelings. We are either quick to express these emotions, or we bury them in our
subconscious mind, where they stew along with years of other pent up
disappointment and resentment that we hide there.
We
feel overwhelmed and unloved, and we either over-react or disengage - both of
which are a death nail in the coffin of our marriage. We all use various coping
methods to deal with the issues of the moment.
Some
of these habits are: changing the subject, a cynical reply, criticism,
unfounded accusations about what we assume is one another's motive or
character, and anger that we think will protect us from further hurt and
vulnerability.
If
we humble our self, apologize, consider one another's viewpoint with
compassion, and make our mate's feelings as important to us as our own, we
avoid a fight and actually have a conversation that may resolve the matter at
hand.
This
can occur before it escalates into harsh words, or we walk away hurt and bury
our feelings. God has plans for our union. Satan would like to steal our love,
kill our empathy, and destroy our unity. It is up to us to either cooperate
with him, or to seek God together to increase our harmony.
Rather
than insisting on our own way, we - honestly yet kindly, communicate how each
of us really feels, and then go on from there. Choosing a third option of
action, on which we can both agree, during every decision on which we do not
agree, is the best way to increase our marital intimacy.
Prayer:
Father
God, help us to understand one another's viewpoint on life and to allow our
strengths to bolster our relationships, and our weaknesses to keep us humble
enough to submit to one another as co-equal heirs with each other and with
Christ to Your Kingdom.
We
want to work together to produce through our marriage a union with one another
that will bless Your Church and our community. Make us a city set up on a hill
that draws people to You. Let Christ's Light within us shine in such a way that
people will be drawn to You through our testimony and our lifestyle. We trust
in You implicitly, and we want to honor You with our union and our love for
each other and for You.
Thought
for the Day:
When
we make our marriage about our individual needs, and we expect our mate to
focus more on us than we concentrate on them and their needs, we rob our
relationship of the joy of marriage; living together as "givers"
rather than as "takers" prevents selfishness and pride from robbing
us of the unity that God wants for us.
