In
this sin-cursed world, due to their bitterness about their circumstances, people
have gone crazy with rage, and every form of slander and brawling and malice.
They are out of control and so they behave irresponsibly and cruelly (Ephesians
4:31-31).
God
often gives us His love for these driven maniacs and understanding for their
behavior. We do not condone their actions, but we look for the reason behind
their violence and hurtful behavior (Proverbs 19:11). If we can, we help them
to come to peace with their past.
In
the heat of the moment, it is very hard for us not to react in anger. However,
God teaches us to deal with them through gentle words that deflect their anger,
rather than to return insult for insult, which simply inflames their temper
(Proverbs 12:16, 15:1).
We
can feel anger in return, because this is a God-given emotion to protect us
from harm. We do not repress or deny our feelings when we feel misunderstood,
deprived, belittled, diminished or invalidated. However, when we react in
anger, we only complicate the situation.
Conversely,
as we submit to God's Spirit, we sense our honest emotions, but we do not cross
over into sin, which only escalates the problem (Psalm 4:4). Instead, we feel
pity and compassion for the offender, and we do not take their behavior
personally.
Taking
several deep breaths helps us to relax and to detach from the situation. We ask
God to show us what is really bothering us. Journaling our thoughts and
feelings also helps to calm us down. We then act constructively rather than
destructively.
We
can delve into the facts of the situation, rather than to assume that we know
the other person's motives and reasons for what they say and do. We ask them to
consider our side of the issue.
Then
we can arrive at a compromise that we can both live with, rather than insisting
on our own way or constantly giving in to the other person (James 1:19-21). God
gets the glory, and we may even win a soul for His Kingdom.
Prayer:
Father
God, remind us that if we do not control our temper, people will label us as a
fool (Ecclesiastes 7:9). Teach us to express our angry feelings in an
assertive—not aggressive—manner; being assertive does not mean being pushy or
demanding, but it means being respectful to our self and to others (Proverbs
19:11).
Help
us not to allow the little irritations that add up during the course of our day
to lower our tolerance and cause us frustration. Remind us to deal with those
frustrations as they arise, so they do not fuel one another. Teach us that
quietness and confidence are our strength (Isaiah 30:15), rather than using
anger to fight our battles for us.
Thought
for the Day:
People
with a compassionate and understanding heart will control their anger; but
those who give in to a hot temper show great foolishness; our goal is a peaceful
heart, which will lead to a calm and healthy spirit, soul and body.
-
Proverbs 14:29-30
